You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
