Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
