idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
