remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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