is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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