dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
