is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
