is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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