I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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