Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
