do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He better not be in your backpack
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
