So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize