My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
