Whod you bang
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
