I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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