Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
