I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
