I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize