Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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