I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
