Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
