It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
