I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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