i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
