I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
