Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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