sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
