you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
