He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
