Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
