Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
