And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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