I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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