are you so shy because you have an std?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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