There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
