Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize