you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
