They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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