rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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