toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize