obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
sex in a hospital.. check
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
