I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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