we have pet lesbian snakes
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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