why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize