...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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