is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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