He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
