Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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