We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
