smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize