Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
