I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
