It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
