TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
