I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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