He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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