I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
